Hello Bloggers,
I'm Backkk.... I have been super busy lately, since I got new job and started working alot of hours!!! I don't work on weekends, because i have my kids with me on Every weekend i love it every minute of spending with them.. they are light of my life they rocked my life.. they are my everything!!!
Did you notice something different in my blog background and etc?? Thanks to my sister she made my headings etc.. it look so amazing thanks you sister, I really appreciate it.. it make my blogging look GOOD.. GOOD JOB sister.. your amazing and very inspiring seriously!! she is expecting baby REAL SOON but I don't think it will born on time.. I don't think so I'm hoping little Eva born on 18th to 20th. or even on her birthday mmm.. who knows.. I pray for her have a best delivery at her HOME since I read her blog.. she is nuts, but she is very brave lady ever I met!!! I cannot do that.. I would kill Devin for that painful.. haha.. she is amazing sister,I read her blog all time.. she made me to motivate how to live in the life!! since i read her blog it made me find something to DO..
some of you don't know what I having issues (heath issues) it all about me!! not even Devin Sr.. problems or anything it how failed my marriages it not Devin Sr fault at all!!! it was all about me .. I figured out what is going on and Devin said you might have a some serious issues going on.. possible Bipolar depression, and i was like huh no way i laughed in few years ago.. now it happened consulting.. often. my mood changes alot.. like in 15 to 45 mins my mood goes ballistic.. it craazy.. I start noticed at MYSELF in las vegas before I moved back to utah, and i kept study at myself, oooohh Devin Sr is competly right.. i was like i hit a rock.. last week, it was hard and awful i fed up, I couldn't control my emotional, moods, i have keep secert from anyone not even my family of my own and my family not know about it that i have been secert that i hear small voices in my head.. it was pretty pure evil and not good thoughts the voices couldn't shut the hell up... it wont turn it off it keep going on going on.. i never felt a peace of my mind i always stressing myself,, i couldn't find my happiness i always sad but people kept asking me are you happy i kept say yeah i am .. but for your information i was happy marriage.. but not happy MYSELF ( JAMAY) itself person..
So ... I had talk with my sister whom you know who did this my blog, Jeneal I talked her everything always.. like forever we always tell each other alot things.. it sister thing, then i had to talk to my other friend Shellie, she said i might have same issues as one of her friend Brittany, also part mine of my friend.. too so Brittany texted me and asked me alot questions, and I answered all of her question,, so more likely i have PSTD, Bipolar and Depression.. and cant control the small voices in my head.. I kept it all not tell my mom or grandma or anything i hate when people going into my business or help me i not like that.. i feel i can do it.. but right now i cant do it.. all the once.. so I finally broke it down told Grandma Glenna, ( my mom's mom) she is amazing lady and i love her to death.. so I told her about it.. she was like ahh.. finally you come to me and get some help.. she told me why not tell mom i said no way.. my mom!!! mmm.. all in the years in my childhood me and my mom always butts in head.. always get in fights never get along till my son born!! now i wrote 5 pages letter tell her where i come from and what my issues are.. the reason i wrote her a letter, cuz i cant sign to her cuz she is rusty with ASL it my fault cuz i don't see my family in heber for long time.. i been living in ohio for two years and slc and etc,, now im back to Heber so currently live with Grandma during week cuz I CANNOT be ALONE or I GO CRAZY!! on weekends i stay at my dad's with my kids easier!! more bed on kids.. with me on bed.. soon I'm getting a HELP Thanks to my sister Jeneal who been patient wtih me talking through text she tries her best to be there for me even she not living in utah she living in FARAWAy...
so back the point .. on Monday on Sept 17th 2012, it was my SON 9th birthday.. oh boy boy.. where is the time goes.. i remember when he arrival out of me... by c-section *** PAINFUL C-Section*** whoa.. but you are the most beautiful baby boy.. has Beautiful Dark hair and big BLUE EYES!!! so he is amazing good guy... he is good son to us.. so HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! i love you devin jr you are my blue eye starlight baby....
that all the folks.. watch out for next blog...
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